I have no doubt what so ever that my Muse is of the Female gender. She has to be, she is flighty, unpredictable and never there when you need her. All female viewers of this blog please form an orderly queue to the left to abuse me - pins jammed into Voodoo dolls are optional! Like most females she has the power to intrigue, puzzle and usually inspire me, on the other hand, also like most females, she has the power to confuse, neglect, mystify and destroy me. When she sits on my shoulder the words flow - the plot unfolds smoothly and the story's climax steadily builds. Then in the middle of the Hero's most critical moment - as he is about to save the Heroine from her impossible dilemma what happens? The bloody Muse decides to go shopping, or peal spuds or what ever else the female of the species decides is critical at the time.
I sit there - and stare blankly at the keyboard - not a word - not the glimmer of an idea can be forced from my blankness. All those words - all those golden ideas that raced through my head a moment ago have gone out the door - after the Muse on what ever quest she has decided to pursue. My character is left on the brink of the precipice - or the point of the sword. All those clever moves that came to me in a flash have gone - dissolved into the seething black pit that has conquered and occupied the position where my Muse usually sits on my shoulder.
I scream, I yell, I curse, I mutter and finally I blubber - no bloody Muse. What does she care? Not a spit - what consequence to her if all my words have deserted me? What repercussions might she suffer because she left me in my critical hour of need - what amusement will she derive from my degeneration into this "purple" prose? She will return in her own good time - usually at some ungodly hour of the night or early morning, and whisper new golden words into my sleeping ear. Will I get up - will I rouse myself and stumble blindly to the keyboard? Of course I will - because I have no defence to her siren song. She MUST be female -no other species in or on heaven or earth has that ability to repeatedly destroy and then resurrect we mere males at their will.